on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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