Dual....:-)
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
