um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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