that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize