Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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