i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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