Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
