So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
