It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
