You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize