She said her name was "party"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
