hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
