dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
