I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
