I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize