i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
