I am spending my child support on dildos
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
