There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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