I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
