Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
