when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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