I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
