This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
