It's Friday. Sex?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
