Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
