I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize