Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
