You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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