What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
