I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
