So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
