"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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