did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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