what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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