Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
