ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
