How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
