There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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