so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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