they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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