I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
