i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize