Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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