Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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