see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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