Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
