things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
