Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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