so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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