I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
is it fun? or sober?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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