Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She bit a glass in half.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
