you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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