If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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