Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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