If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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